Dear Jim:
I know your sister is a Nun and probably talks to God fairly often. I don’t know if he has a suggestion box but here is a sure fire winner for Nun of the month. Get some decent Quality Control processes in place. If I was a car, the recall record would have put the company out of business long ago. Parts that are critical for the basic operation of the body are failing at alarming rates and early i.e. just when you need them most and pieces that you have no use for are good for 100 years and more.
All this to say in introduction to your “how is it going?” question.
I’ve learned another bloody lesson. When they told me that Green Light laser surgery for the prostate was a simple daytime procedure, they meant it is simple for them. No muss no fuss. Chop him up, hose him down (they forgot that part with me) and send him home. Now I got that simple part and unfortunately that’s where I stopped investigating. It’s like reading the small print in your Travel Insurance. You have to do it or you could be in deep dippy doo.
What they really meant to say was this is a simple little job and oh by the way, with a recovery that will make you cry for your Mommy nonstop for weeks to come. Let me see if I can describe this for you.
Picture you are skiing and you drink 32 ounces of soft drinks or 6 beer and then jump on the Tram with 100 other people. Half way down the hill the Tram suffers a power failure. 30 minutes later, nothing, one hour later still there. 2 hours on you are still trapped in place. Now can you imagine the urgency you are feeling as you hop from foot to foot? Try and capture that thought and then imagine having that sensation every waking moment for two weeks with the promise that there are another two to four weeks left!
This morning as I was trying to get a hand grip on the railing for the Jacques Cartier Bridge to lift myself over the edge I suddenly decided to go to the hospital for a reality check just in case there was some hope that I was missing.
"So I need to go ever 5 minutes!," I scream at the Nurses and any Doctors within earshot.
I arrive at the hospital at 10am and they say go over there and let’s do a flow scan. I didn’t have to go!
I then drank 500ml of water, 500ml of coke, a coffee, another 500ml of water and walked up and down the hallway. At 12.30pm I was able to dribble enough liquid to use for testing for infections. A little chat with the Doc and I was on my way. I had to stop 4 times to run in to a restaurant or garage on the way home. Even now at 4pm I’m still sloshing around.
I have read every blog on this subject. I have consulted with Doctors, Nurses and on-line support groups. I can tell you without fear of contradiction that if Jonas Salk or Sir Frederick Banting came back to life and wanted to work in Urology they would consult me for all of their work.
The bottom line is that this is a procedure that you WOULD recommend to your worst enemy. So if you know someone you really hate send him over to me for reference and I will put a smile on your face. In the meantime if you get a little peeved at my being I a little irritable talking to you on the phone it is nothing compared to the hell I’m going to have to pay for chewing the end off of the sofa this afternoon.
I’ll keep you posted. If I live, I could be committed and unavailable except for weekend visits. Come often.
Bill Meder
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