Dear Jim:
Well, one month after my Green Light Laser procedure as advertised I am back to my old self and ready to rock and roll. It is a good thing as two weeks ago I was only able to stop from shooting myself by lying in the fetal position holding on to myself with both hands.
As you can imagine this greatly limited my social life and there aren’t many restaurants that are comfortable serving you when you are in that position.
This was certainly a case of misleading advertising at best and anyone contemplating this procedure should call me for the facts. At the end of the day I learned some things about myself that are disturbing.
I am clearly a Wuss. As I moaned and groaned and leaned on my friends for pity I discovered that my pain threshold is non existent. If anything serious ever happens to me I’m toast. I also found out that everyone I talked to have much bigger problems that they are dealing with and aren’t whimpering in public. How weird is that?
Now you know there are some of my friends who are built tough. They bang in to a tree skiing at 100km/hour and rip off their arm and just pick it up and have it sown back on by the on duty doctor at the bottom of the hill. They then ski for the rest of the day and never mention it. These guys are well known and I’m not surprised.
What does surprise me is the number of people who never complain about anything. How can that be any fun? Self pity has always been a big motivator for me and having others feel sorry for me is the icing on the cake.
At any rate, here I am, full of beans and ready to resume life as I knew it. The good news is that I can’t exercise for two months and that has given me a lot more time to savor an extra donut at breakfast. I don’t have a muscle left in my body and a sudden stop involves a lot of wiggling and jiggling in places I didn’t even know about.
Another few weeks and I will be back to my boyish figure and looking for trouble.
I will keep you posted.
Bill Meder
No comments:
Post a Comment