Don't slip on the ice

Dear Jim:

So Sally slipped on the ice, broke her arm near her shoulder, lay in the parking lot for 45 minutes in the pouring rain waiting for the Ambulance. Really inconvenient as it was on Friday night during rush hour and I was already home. Had to drive in heavy traffic.

And, her coat and suede pants were ruined, and I don’t want to tell you about the blouse they cut off of her at the hospital. I will replace all those items at XMAS.

At any rate, please don’t think I am insensitive to poor little Sally who couldn’t get a cast because the break was so high on her arm and has to wait 6-8 weeks with no support for it to heal. I mean lots of people don’t pay attention to ice underfoot and slip and break things, right?

I’m learning a lot about one armed wives.

If you were trying to sell one in a third world country, you wouldn’t get any takers for sure. They really are quite useless and if they are moaning and groaning a lot, they are annoying as well. However, we have to do what we have to do and although she is struggling to do her chores and make me happy, for my part I’m going to be very tolerant of substandard performance.

As you know I am a lousy care giver.

I have always been a net receiver of services and never bothered to learn how to do anything.

If I lived alone, I would never make my bed. Who cares? Discussions on this subject are on-going.

Yes, I can order in a pre-done dinner and warm up the oven to 350 degrees like nobodies’ business. I also can serve it and now that I know you can’t cut food with one hand, I am only buying soft squishy stuff suitable for a single fork or spoon. Feeding problem solved. Except I’m not good at vegetables and fruit so there is a danger that Sally will develop scurvy over the longer term. One day at a time.

Helping with dressing etc. is a bigger problem. When I was a highly motivated teenager, I didn’t have the ability to unhook all those items of clothing that women wear. Now with my motor skills completely gone I have turned getting ready for bed in to a marathon event. My swearing skills are getting better with new phrases popping up daily.

Because there is no cast, I have to be careful not to move her arm as I move around. Gentle doesn’t work for me and it is amazing how easy it is to forget which arm is broken. In fact, I doubt whether we have made any progress in healing this first week.

The next 8 weeks promises to be the ultimate test for both of us. Luckily, I can get out of the house and will leave at 5.30 am and return at 6.pm. Sally is trapped and this isn’t going to be a great spring. At least Sally can look forward to lots of physio when the weather gets better.

Thanks to all my friends for their suggestions. I think getting her a snow blower since she can’t shovel was the best idea I received.

I will keep you posted

Bill Meder

Billmeder.blogspot.com