Dear Jim: An overdue update.
Well, I haven’t written for a long time since I never received any signal that you were getting my updates, so I took a breather.
I have been contemplating the 50th anniversary of my golf career. Interestingly I scored the same 100 yesterday that I made on my first game in 1980. Disappointing, given that I have spent thousands on club fees , lessons, clubs, golf weeks all over Timbuktu and never improved. If you have a moment, ask around and see if you can find out who would design a game that you can’t get better at? Ever! They should be replaced.
I haven’t made a putt this year. Yes, you read that correctly. NO putt of any length has gone in the hole. I do get within gimmie range which I have expanded now to 10 feet or less that eliminates a lot of disappointment and stress. I have given up the PUTT part of golf.
As for my irons, I am down to one. The rest are in my locker so I can’t be tempted to hit them. You know that the back of our blue course has water on 6 holes and should be declared unplayable. So, I need that one iron to try and get over the water after my previous shot has gone splash. I could buy balls at Costco for .25$ each but nope I must hit several $6 pro V1 ‘s right into the water on almost every hole! Image insecurity, I think.
I do have one major problem. I cannot start my downswing without coming over the top. Good for you if you don’t know what that is but essentially, I can’t fix it. Oh, my instructor has shown me with crayons and cartoons how it is fixed, taken video from all angles including a drone rendition and speaks to me phonetically like I’m deaf or crazy. I don’t like the yelling or shaking but there we are.
My last attempt was one hour of “for Christ sakes how did you ever get a job ”mutterings. He finally said “I am going to hold the top of your arm and stop it from going over the top. Ok says I. When I had finished the swing, he was 15 feet down the fairway, right in the middle I might add, but that was the end. He has my picture in the pro shop with a “do not engage or encourage this member….ever”
My support team of regular partners are not much help either. They don’t care and I accept that. I don’t like it when they shout in unison as I hit my drive “NO GOOD!!”. Sometimes before I even contact the ball. I remind them that terms like “good shot, well done, WOW are only a few of the words I express when they are hitting.
So, as I get older, I think of my reception in heaven where I suppose you are enjoying whatever you do up there. If they allow golf, I assume I will be met by a sports coordinator to be interviewed. “ Well, I see you are a golfer, welcome to the team.” I will have to reply, “I’m not too bad but I can’t help coming over the top on my backswing.
” OOPS, he will say…we never did get the programming for “over the top” fixed and have been working on it for eternity. We are hoping with AI that we will be able to replace that circuit board in humans and eliminate that issue once and for all. In the meantime, I will have to send you to Hell where everyone there on that golf team swings over the top and they are currently in purgatory , forever. If a fix is found, we will be glad to reinterview you for heaven . In the meantime. Bye
Hope you are enjoying wherever you are. . I expect I will be there sooner than later and look forward to getting caught up!
All the best
Bill Meder
