And the days dwindle down....

Dear Jim:

So now that Florida is almost over for all the smug escapees from the North, you can all stop asking how we survived this horrible winter.

Every snow fall and record breaking low temperature resulted in a flood of northbound phone calls that threatened to overwhelm, the Bell system. “Oh you poor people, gee whiz look at all that snow, how cold is it?...no..can't be, it must be terrible, hee hee.”

First of all, most nights we slept indoors. During the day I left my indoor garage with my summer shoes on and no jacket and arrived at my indoor parking destination ready to do whatever. During the course of the winter I only spent about 11 minutes outside.  I am a little pale but that should go away in the weeks ahead. Do you think it bothered me when it was 24 degrees Celsius last  Tuesday and minus 8 on Wednesday and snow on Thursday?  Didn’t even notice. 

So here we are in the middle of May and as you are sitting in your shorts in your air conditioned environment I am sitting in front of the fireplace with a blanket wrapped around my body and a heating pad on my back, turned to high. This all makes sense to me and I can hardly wait until our 2 month summer is over so I can start the cycle again.

The only regret I have is that this year there was no one left in the city to go to dinner with most of the winter. After 50 years living here I now can’t find one other bozo that spends the winter in Montreal to play with. How can so many people be out of step?

As for my overall well -being there are signs that things may be starting to going downhill.

Yesterday I was lying on my Pilates machine at the studio looking over at 5 porky old ladies and had a horrible realization. When did my exercise program start to  include old ladies? Here we are all doing the same exercises with the same tension on the machine. I had sweat pouring down my entire body, barely able to see and these ladies were pounding away with their mascara totally in place babbling away about their nail appointments. Not good.

It seems that deterioration may be just around the corner. And just when I found the fix to my golf game there is a danger that I may not be able to execute a miraculous comeback this spring!

I went to see my doctor who I doubt ever passed his medical exams and told him my story. My back hurts here and my arm hurts there and when I stand up too fast I fall over etc etc. “What’s going on here”, I asked . He jumps on his computer and types in a few symptoms. “Ah, here we go”, he says. “You’re old!”

Bill