Dear Jim: A Barbados holiday

Dear Jim:

 

Safety tips if you are thinking of  driving in Barbados.

 

Hi there Jimbo, I have evidence that you are watching over me. Thank you.

 

On our recent trip to Barbados, I decided to rent a car rather than taking Taxis. This, even though as you know I probably shouldn’t be driving at home let alone in a strange place.

 

I cleverly calculated that I could save $8 USD by renting rather than take a Taxi to the west coast to do a few things and visit friends over a two-day period.

 

Many years ago, we always rented in Barbados, and I drove everywhere at high speed on the wrong side of the road. Oh sure, there were many close calls especially during the times when I was drinking and driving at night in the rain, but no one died.

 

You know I have a fabulous memory, especially for long ago. I knew my way about the roundabouts and all the little, short cuts in my head as we set off from our hotel. Unfortunately, the people living there have been building and rerouting and adding all kinds of stuff. I didn’t recognize a single landmark!  I had also forgotten that my eye-hand coordination is no longer coordinating, especially at high speed.

 

Good thing Barbados is an island so, when you see a sign that says “Guadeloupe” straight ahead you know you are on the wrong road, and you can quickly recover.

 

My adjustment to driving on the wrong side of the road was not great either and I went off the road a bit where I scraped my front tire and mayber the front fender and bumper. I later claimed it was a hit and run in the parking lot as I didn’t want to embarrass myself. The damage couldn’t be hidden and I’m waiting for the Rental Company to have a hissy fit about the cost to repair.

 

Waze said we were 37 minutes from our destination and an hour and half later we arrived in Holetown. Parking was packed but we left the car. I should have taken a picture of it before we left for the shops as it was very hard to find later.

 

On the way back to the hotel on Day 1 we missed the roundabout to the ocean road. They are clever little devils. On one side the Roundabout says Grahame Hall and on the other side Errol Barrow. At any rate we missed all four times we headed home. BTW, Wives shouldn’t be allowed to criticize a driver in motion is all I can say. Very off-putting.

 

On day two,after a great visit to our friend’s spectacular home, we took off to have dinner with them at the Cliff. Sally in his car and his wife in mine in case we got lost. Unfortunately, thinking I was signalling a turn I hit the windshield wiper button and since the wiper was shredded it smeared goop all over the windshield making it impossible, yes impossible to see. There are no lights on the highway and the oncoming headlights are blinding enough as it is.  

My friend insisted we pull over and get a taxi, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying in between the shrieks of terror after one close call after another. By the time we got to the restaurant she was still shaking and immediately ordered a martini. I fortunately had a change of underwear in the car.

 

When we left in the dark and headed home to our hotel, I assumed we would probably die that night.

I would have left the car, but I wouldn’t have known how to describe where it was. Finally, we arrived at the hotel, parked the car, and left the keys at the front desk. I immediately cancelled my credit card and moved our room so I couldn’t be found. My $8 savings is now around $1000 extra. Hopefully.

 

Never again! First, I doubt they will rent to me.

Second, the police have a picture of us and have instructions to stop on sight.

For all those Barbarians who were traumatized by our two-day reign of terror all over the island I apologize.

 

 

 

Bill Meder

 

Regards,

Bill