Dear Jim: Ok ,back in the groove

 

It has almost been a year since you died and so far no contact with you from wherever you told me you were going. As a result I have not bothered to write a Dear Jim letter but demand has been increasing so pay attention.

 

People always ask you how your winter was: Well here’s the story,.

During the winter every friend, acquaintance and some  people we don’t particularly care for, go  South for the season. That leaves Sally and I alone with almost nobody to play with.

 

To escape in January , we went to Barbados for a couple of weeks on the Beach.

Once again all alone, just the two of us , no one else , just 56 years of marriage. Together, every moment, 42 meals staring in to each others eyes. Got the picture?

Now I am fully trained but there are very few fine points that need tuning every now and then. After the first week these items are cleared away and our conversation from there is fairly short.

“Hurry up, what are you doing, I’m going for a walk on the beach, I need a drink, Oh for Christ’s sakes relax,  etc etc. “

By the 12^th day I’m calling Air Canada to see how much it would cost to change our ticket home.

Day 14 can’t come soon enough and we are at the airport 4 hours before departure to make sure nothing will stop us from making that flight. So that is January.

 

During February I spend most of my free time trying to decide where to go in February. This is an impossible task and before you know it, March has arrived. Now it is March Break and going somewhere makes no sense which brings us to April. Well Ok Then, snow gone, golf club starting to look inviting, days lengthening and decision is made to go to Florida Next year and le voila winter’s over and golf season looms large.

 

So today was opening day at the golf club and I didn’t make any effort to register. I did however go out to the club, changed into my golf clothes, shoes and all and walked around the 19^th hole pretending that I was there to play. Talked to a lot of nice people and everyone told me to play well. If I had had to play 18 holes I would have needed an ambulance to take me home.

 

I haven’t hit a ball for months so I went out to hit a couple…and I mean a couple.

My first swing, had I made it during the event, might have  caused pieces of my body to break off and would have been very embarrassing.

I realized I have to change my warm up this year.

For example I will not be able to practice with my Driver this year  because every time I bent down to tee up another ball it was 15-20 seconds before my dizzy spell subsided.

I think passing out on the range might elicit gossip about me that I would be uncomfortable dealing with so the Driver stays in the bag.

Hard to believe you can get a blister on your right hand by only hitting 20.. 8 irons.

Could be my grip which has gotten quite tight as I fight off a wonderful Shank that appears out of nowhere every second shot.

 You get the picture. I am ready to roll for 2023 and will keep you up to date as I continue to improve. Golf is my Life.

 

Regards,

Bill 

And another thing

 Dear Jim:

 

Well let me try again. Perhaps your sister (the NUN..true) can get this letter to you with her connections.

 

In answer to my health and general well-being I can report that my deterioration is progressing at an aggressive pace.

 

 My doctor informs me that the extra 10 years of life that I should expect from not smoking, no drinking, lots of exercise, 10 hours nightly sleep and weight control are over.

Congratulations!

 And I’m now on the same life expectancy schedule as the Overweight, heavy smoking, big drinking insomniacs.

 

I find I need to change a few of my habits.

 

 For example, I used to put on my socks standing on one foot and deftly pullng on a sock with both hands.

Lately, I find I tend to lose my balance and careen across the room either falling outright or ploughing into a dresser or whatever.

Now if this continues, I could face serious injury or death.

Imagine an OBIT that says ..” Bill Meder died this morning of blunt force trauma while putting on his socks.”

 Humiliating right?

 

I am having problems with my memory. Not losing it. Just the opposite. Digital quality recall of everything back to 4 years old. This is a painful and depressing  problem.

 

I remember clearly playing squash every day and sometimes twice for 45 minutes each game. I tried to warm up in a court a while ago and after the warmup I went straight home for a snooze.

 

I remember riding my bike for one hour after work around the end of the island. Seldom missed a day. I just sold my bike because I kept falling off sideways when my feet got stuck in the pedals. Ouch.

 

I remember when I could carry my golf bag for 18 holes. Now I need help lifting the bag on to the cart.

 

I remember loving to ski for hours even when it was minus 25F. I can’t go skiing anymore because I’m afraid of getting my nose cold.

 

I remember quite fondly the frosty martini glass with the twist of lemon moving across the room towards me. Now it’s “will that be flat or sparkling”. Terrible, no?

 

I remember hitting from the white tees, looking longingly at the blues.

Now I hit from the red tees looking longingly at the Ladies yellow tees. Brutal.

 

I used to drive at high speed, steering with my knee while I typed a lengthy text.

I now drive very slow with both hands tightly gripping the wheel praying that I won’t blow by a stop sign or red light and kill myself or someone else.

I will probably stop driving either by losing my licence or death. It’s 50/50

 

I could go on, but you get it.

 

Running, jumping, bobbing, weaving, twisting, twirling, leaping, agile, fast, quick, alert, motor skills etc. etc. can nevermore be used in a sentence that begins with Bill. Depressing right?

 

Now I’m not complaining. Just reporting. In the future I will write to you about all the things I’m still good at if anything comes to mind.