Dear Jim: A caregiver in training
If I had chosen to be a caregiver as my career may years ago it is almost certain that countless innocent people would have died prematurely in my care.
Apparently, you aren’t allowed to yell or hit which removes two of my most effective techniques for getting compliance.
Now let’s be clear! I am not a cook and making a bed is far too complicated for someone with my skills. I know how to turn the oven temperature to 350 degrees…period. If that isn’t enough preparation, we are now on a weight reduction program. I have been warned that pizza 10 times a week is not a strong diet recommendation. Well, who knew?
I don’t know where the light switches are on the walls and as for running all the equipement around the house...ha! Had to put the sprinkler on manual last night. Couldn’t do it. God bless Sally for planting a garden that the botanical gardens want to feature in their next promotion. I give it two weeks before I call in the bull dozers.
,
I could go on but let me just say that I have been called “as useless as an ashtray on a motorcycle”.
As I told you Sally suffered a Detached Retina on Thursday. Following the emergency operation, she was given 5 different eye drops, each one to be taken at various intervals during the day. I made up a spreadsheet to control this and it requires me to watch the clock for 12 hours and make sure I don’t miss anything. They obviously didn’t consider that putting in eye drops without tilting one’s head or touching the eye with the tip of the bottle is waaaay beyond my eye hand coordination. The drops must last two weeks with one of them -6 weeks.
Well doses for week two through six are scattered over my shoes, the kitchen floor and Sally’s cheeks. I hope they will give me refills. This is harder than it sounds. And one drop at a time. Ridiculous, they come out in batches when you squeeze the bottle. You would think this would be a better design.
Instructions are very clear. 50% of the success of this procedure is the surgery and 50% is dependent on the patient following instructions precisely.
No reading, no TV, no lifting of head, no activity and you must lie on your stomach.
Sally is much smarter than these doctors. I caught her doing the crosswords yesterday and before I knew it, she was sitting on the edge of the pool kicking her legs.
I’ve warned her to no avail. We go back to the doctor tomorrow. I have told her if she doesn’t smarten up, I won’t get her a dog when this is over.
She says she is doing her best and it is hard. Well, boo hoo.
This is the 4th summer that has been botched due to one issue or another with either of us.
I thought we were done with a roster of every doctor specialist in two major hospitals on our speed dial. But wait a minute, we were missing an Ophthalmologist team. Another name I can’t pronounce to be added to Cystoscopy, Nephrologist etc. I must write down where I’m going and show the guide the name for directions.
At any rate the one good thing is that Sally shot 46 on the front of the Red last Wednesday and now she can’t golf until Sept 9 or so. This will give me time to work on my game so that she doesn’t surpass my progress.
Doctor tomorrow, next Friday and then August 11 before all clear can be given. Until then it is up to her…oh boy.
Will keep you posted.
Bill
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