Quit....Never!

Dear Jim:

Here is the latest.

I have done a deep dive on all the data available regarding my game., The courses, my attitude , hole by hole scoring analysis, hitting tendencies,  etc and have determined that  the following strategy could lead to  a return to glory .

If I can play from the Ladies Tees and hit my drive straight and then hit my next shot straight and then chip on to the green and if any putt under 6 feet is a gimme I have a 50/50 chance of getting a Bogey. Bogey golf would be just fine for me.

This  strategy however has serious flaws as you would quickly point out and before I started shaving my legs I figured I need to give it one more practical  shot..

To the shouts of  “Quitter” from family and friends I  finally agreed  to take a 1 ½ hour lesson with cameras and all the bells and whistles yesterday evening.

Now in 30 years of taking lessons I have never seen a Golf Pro cry.  I don’t mean moaning and groaning I mean tears streaming down the face accompanied by sobbing.

When we started I quickly  informed him that I couldn’t translate the “to do” action from my brain to my body.

“No Problemo, I have 50 exercises that will get you to do what I am telling you needs to get done. Lets go” Cameras, action!

Around idea 23, cracks were beginning to show and I heard a faint “useless twit” comment while I was addressing the ball. By number 35 and one hour in to the session we were both understandably tired and by now I am gripping my Driver with both hands and shouting to stand back and let me hit this f …er.

Total destruction occurred around idea 43 with both of us in a bath of perspiration and each instruction barked out with spittle flying farther than the ball.

Finally the pro took  his IPAD and began typing his letter of resignation from both the club and the PGA.  Pity, our relationship may remain strained for some time as he wouldn’t even let me drive him back to the club but chose to walk back instead, right down the middle of the range

First mistake…I know an hour and a half is a long lesson. When I finished it took two guys from the bag shop to pry my hands off the driver. The cramps in my fingers and hands made eating dinner with a knife and fork a non starter. As the evening wore on other parts of my body started to cramp up and by this morning I was just able to hold a toothbrush  with both hands. I wasn’t in much shape for my regular Sat game.  I won’t bother you with the blow by blow of that round but lets just say that 8 is my magic number. On the way home I bought  a Loto ticker with only 8’s and 7s in the number.

No, I am not making this up.  Now I am determined and  will put in more work next week. I will keep you posted. Tomorrow lucky me is playing with Sally who has a lot of good ideas on how I can improve and become a better person at the same time.

Bill Meder