Dear Jim:
Well, day one of the Centennial is over. I know you want to
know how it went. I can’t give you a blow by blow but let me say that my score
for the day was the worst score ever. Not my worst score ever, the worst score
ever recorded in the history of Royal Montreal.
When I tried to enter my score the system told me “Please
enter one score at a time”.
A little flavor. After a warm up hole I started 10 Red and
went 8,8,7 for three holes.
But just a minute you say, 10 Red is a par 3…how is that possible?
Well my drive, with a wood..swung at full speed, travelled 16 feet. The club hit the top of the ball and then
proceeded to dig a 6 inch divot a full two feet in front of the tee. The tee
was driven so deep in to the ground that mechanical equipment will be required
to remove it.
My second shot, done in a hurry to avoid detection by the
team following us went dead right in to the bush. And so on…put me down for 8.
Next hole my drive went hard left..but wait.. it hit the tee
box deflecting back toward the fairway..but wait.. there is so much side spin
on the ball it reverses direction again and heads left in to the bush. A flight path that would have gone viral if
we had thought to record it.
The only fun parts of the day was when some bozo, came up to our table at lunch and announced
that he didn’t like talking to me in person but liked reading my letters. The other moron, driving on the wrong fairway
continued driving up the wrong fairway after hitting rather than returning to
his own fairway. He was upset when I didn’t think anyone could be so stupid and
hit my shot while he was driving toward me. Dangerous, he said. While he is
waving his arms and crying for his mommy,
I’m thinking, if I had killed the jerk I would have been given the
Centennial trophy immediately along with a parade of bag pipers right then and
there.
I know I had said my team might resort to violence. They
wanted to talk to me in the parking lot after dinner but I left by the ladies
exit.
The rest of the team was not exactly on fire either. I
didn’t watch them much because I was sulking with my head in my hands but we
did manage to scratch together a final score of 11 under which means we lost
half our bets.
Tomorrow is another day and my team told me we were playing
the second round at a course in Hudson which seems strange since I thought the
dance was at our club tomorrow night. At any rate they asked me to leave early because it is a long drive and
they want to make sure we are all on time.
More tomorrow ..maybe.
Bill Meder
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