Letters to Jim: And the winners are..

Dear Jim:

So yesterday our team won the Presidents Prize by 4 strokes playing on the more difficult of our two courses. When the Club President read my name, he and everyone who has seen me play this year had a puzzled look on their faces and wondered if there was a typo. As you know I haven’t broken 100 in a string of games that would make the very first time I played golf 30 years ago the best score of the year. I have a new swing that works from time to time but I have a very bad attitude that revolves around my deep hatred for the game of golf.
How did this happen, you ask. Well I was with new team members for the most part because my regular team, having seen my game recently all had headaches or sudden obligations that required them to play with other Bozos and I was on my own.
On the first tee, following my drive, I heard “Holly Crap” what was that. On the second hole when I was lying 5 and they hadn’t hit their second shot yet (I know you think I’m exaggerating but I’m not) I saw the beginning of anxiety on their faces. When I three putted from 4 feet on a hole where I had two shots they were in full panic.
If you are playing a tournament where four players are counting two balls you need all four guys to contribute. If one of the players is clearly out of control the pressure mounts on the remaining three to be careful because there is only one ball that can be screwed up on each hole. As a result the concentration caused by fear and panic of looking like morons to their regular colleagues produces great golf.
My contribution therefore was not related to golf but to forcing the team to really stay focused on every shot. Who knew?
 I will proudly display my winnings in the house and tell everyone who will listen about our team’s domination of this event. Only you know the real truth and you need to keep it quiet. This could change everything as teams look to find hackers to fill out their team to gain an edge.
Bill