Dear Jim: Is the term “Shit Show” used up there?
People ask me how I am. I usually say, great thanks. Let me fill you in on the last 10 days.
It all started with a Biblical rainstorm.
On the way home I hit a pothole and blew a $963 tire and damaged the rim. Ok, it happens!
Next morning I go to our gym in the basement and notice a little puddle in the middle of the floor. Now how did that water get there. No clues.
I called a contractor who came and began drilling holes in our beautiful basement floor to see where the water was. None…now I have holes everywhere on the new segment of the basement.
Hang on, here is some water in this obscure room discovered when another hole was cut. Ok rip out that half of the finished basement. And what about that crack in the foundation. Goody goody…tear down the wall and expose the concrete.
Now the basement resembles the effect of a tactical nuclear device.
The contractor says, “thank goodness for insurance” rubbing his hands together.
Nope, policy specifically omits water and wind since I had a claim 7 years ago.
My son, his wife and their daughter come for a visit while this is all going on.
Day one, direct flight from LA is cancelled, rebooked the next day via Chicago.
Next day flight delayed…result bags didn’t make it.
I give them the Tesla to go and visit friends in Owl’s head. The twelve-volt Battery dies. I go to Tesla to arrange service.
Our warranty expired August 23.
Now I must have a flatbed truck go to Owl’s head to pick up the car and bring it to Quebec City or Montreal.
Son takes a day and finds and fixes the battery problem. Two days of their visit kaput!
Sally has eye surgery scheduled at 11 am in Chateguay on Monday. Don’t ask why Chateguay. I take off Monday morning to drive her to places I have never seen in my life and after driving down a dirt road come across the clinic where a surgeon nick named “OOPS” by her nurses performs. Park and go to check in.
Ten Indians all squinting, are waiting their turn. The receptionist says Hmmmm we don’t have you scheduled in fact we have no record of you.
Lovely drive back home and Sally remembers another eye clinic in Pointe Claire. Maybe that one?! So, I drive there and sure enough they have a requisition that Sally brings out to the car. Unfortunately, this was for a procedure 6 months ago. They don’t do cataracts.
Back home. Oh well a half blind wife is better than no wife. I will make do.
Meanwhile back at the ranch I have arranged to borrow a car as our marriage contract has wheels for Sally 7/24 365 days per year. As I’m waiting to be picked up the owner leaving her driveway rips the front bumper off her car. So, Billy has no wheels.
I don’t want to bore you Jim , but would you please register these 10 days with your superiors up there wherever you are and ask them to open a file called “Shit Show”. No more of these please.
Bill Meder
