Dear Jim: As the days dwindle down the time machine is speeding up

 

Dear Jim:

Someone has put a speed chip into the time machine.

I just woke up to realize that it is going to be August 1 any minute now. How did that happen?

During the winter every day seemed like a week, and we could hardly wait for summer. Along comes June…cold, rainy and there goes July, hot hot. In the blink of an eye.

 

You do know that the leaves start to change in three weeks! I know, I know Sept and Oct can be great but at the speed we are going it will be November in a minute and it all starts again.

 

I have started to realize that this faster cycle is causing non fixable changes to my quality of life.

 

I am now going to go for a year-to-year car rental. How can I buy a car that may last seven or so years?

 I have passengers who don’t think I should be driving now. What are the odds that I should be driving six or seven years from now?

It wasn't long ago that I would have breakfast meetings  at the Ritz at 7am followed by a second one at 8. I now have trouble making an 8 am zoom call from home usually with my face blurred to hide my, deer caught in the headlights, look I sport at that time of day.

 

I used to go to bed at 11 pm and up and at’em at 7 am or earlier. No more.

In the winter it is pitch black out at 4 pm so I don’t feel guilty going up to bed at 8 pm..lights out at 9. In the summer I feel guilty doing that so we put in black out blinds so we can pretend it is late while the whole neighbourhood is walking up and down the road long after we are gone to the world.

 

I used to do fifty things a day.

Now, by noon the most I can say is I went to the bank or went and bought a take- out dinner.

Don’t know why it took me all morning. No rational explanation so don’t ask what is taking so long.

 

I would get out of bed at 7 am to take an 8 am flight to Toronto.  Now I have to get up at 5.30 am to make a 9.30 tee time at the golf club. No explanation makes sense.

 

I used to walk up and down the stairs with a coffee cup in one hand and my iPad in the other. I noticed the other day that I now grab the banister with both hands going up or down. Didn’t even see it coming.

 

When I was drinking it was normal to be   a little bit unsteady at the end of the night.

Now I wobble every time I get up after sitting for 15 minutes. And when did the dizziness start when I make a fast move. Don’t know. Just began….

 

My hearing may be getting weaker. I have always been good at ignoring instructions but now I don’t seem to catch all the tidbits that I’m interested in hearing. I nod as if I got it…getting good at faking it.

I have closed captions on all my TV shows and love reading the Netflix movies when we watch TV. The sound is so high that we haven’t had any wildlife within 300 yards of the house this year.

People close to me seem to be shouting most of the time or this just my imagination?

 

I didn’t swim when the pool was heated to 70 degrees F and now, I don’t swim when it is set at 90 degrees.

 

You get the picture; nothing is the same and certainly not going to get any better. The slow downhill slide seems to have picked up speed. This isn’t going to end well….

 

 

Bill Meder

Dear Jim: Ok, I got the message

 Dear Jim: 

 

I know I told you to send me a sign when you arrived to wherever you are. I didn’t mean you had to get into my golf swing and start messing with it as a sign that you were connected with me.

 

I have never hit a shank in golf in my life and yesterday I didn’t hit anything else for an hour.

I tried everything and couldn’t fix it until finally I said to myself...” It’s Jim” just letting me know!

 

I went out today and sure enough everything was back to normal.

 

 Ok then, I confirm we are now connected…no more signs S.V.P

 

And by the way it was a nice touch making me “co-executor” of your estate, instead of “one of” the executors. This way I get to sign every document, approve every action, and learn first-hand the probate procedures in Ontario, Nova Scotia and Florida combined with my now useless knowledge of Quebec rules and procedures.

You did know you live in a different province than me…right?

 

Who knew I would be getting to meet a whole raft of new legal friends and banking acquaintances with “yes, but” following every question or suggestion I make?

 I had wondered what I was going to do in my spare time this year and you single handidly solved that problem for me with the little “Co” addition to your will. Nice touch…I’ll bet you did that on purpose. That’s what friends are for.

 

It was also a nice addition to see that you had ignored all my suggestions earlier this year about winding up your company and selling your vacation home in Antigonish. This allows me to dig deep into the tax consequences in three provinces and two countries. Hells bells, I am going to be an expert before this is done and can probably get consulting gigs.

 

And finally, when I asked you to get rid of all those joint accounts it must have been after you lost your hearing, and now I get to watch your money grow all over the banking system for the many months I will spend getting those accounts closed.

 

I have always said you were a special friend and you have come through with an exclamation point! For certain I'm not going to forget you any time soon.

 

Enjoy yourself, you have a front row seat.

 

 

Bill Meder