Free at Last

"Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I’m free at last."

Many people think Martin Luther King created this statement. In fact his writers stole it from golfers, with handicaps of 18 or more, who scream this refrain as they clean out their lockers at the end of every season.

I peaked mid July when I pared two holes in a row for the first time in two years. From there each game became worse than the last and I was able to add 3 strokes to my handicap. I won’t tell you what it is as the season comes to an end  but most millennials don’t get married until they reach this age.

I tried a few new things and learned a bit as well.

A big innovation for me was to equip my clubs with a tracking system attached to my IPHONE that gave me the distance of every club in the bag and averaged the results over the past 40 games.

The results were very interesting.

My Driver, 4 wood, 5 wood, 7 wood, 4 hybrid, and 6 hybrid all go 171-173 yards on average.

My Pitching wedge, Sand wedge, Gap Wedge and Lob wedge all go 60-62 yards.

My 7 iron and 9 iron both go 130 yards and my 8 iron didn’t register because most of the shots I hit with it went in the water.

So the take home from this effort is to stop using the system. I am removing all hardware and software and next year will carry 4 clubs. No bag and no cart, just carry them loose in my hand. Very easy and much less expensive than cart rentals.

I bought 4 dozen golf balls at the beginning  of the season and only lost 1. Not counting the 47 that I put in the water. I couldn’t hit it far enough to lose sight of and always saw where it landed and ended up resting after I hit it regardless of the club. So next year I’m going to buy 1 good ball and a few dozen from Costco for water holes.

I used to start counting down the holes left to play around number 13. This year I was quietly hoping someone would hurt themselves after 9 so we could quit then. Next year we can use our phones for texting and such and hopefully that will provide entertainment during the last few holes.

Jim, if any of your friends who are not golfers are reading this, here is a safety tip. If anyone pretending to be your friend suggests that you take up the game you need to terminate that friendship immediately. They are trying to make you miserable for a significant portion of your remaining life, and can’t be trusted!

At any rate, I’m looking forward to next spring to see if I’m alive, and if so will I ever break 90 again.

Have a great winter in Florida. Sorry you have to continue golfing.

 

Regards,

Bill 

(514) 992-2916

The long days of Summer

Dear Jim: The long days of summer.

All winter long people were screaming about how great it would be when summer comes.

Since I live indoors, winter has never bothered me. In fact since there is nothing to do except watch Netflix by the hour and maybe read a book and catch a snooze in front of the fireplace I find I enjoy a perfectly relaxed life from November to May.

So here I find myself hopping from foot to foot as I deal with the guilt and stress of not maximizing every bloody hour of every half decent day.

The Sun might be coming out.

Have to play golf. I’ll try and book for a time that has rain forecasted so it might get cancelled. Or we can quit if it starts to rain.

Get the bikes ready. Now I have to go on a bike ride. Pick a time with no traffic….say 5.30 am. Oh goody goody. Have to do it. Been waiting all winter for this.

There are dandelions in the front lawn..get the speedy weedy and start working.

 And what about the grass in the Pavi-Unis and while you are at it we need a new hose and go Canadian Tire and get all these tools and stuff you can’t even pronounce for home maintenance. The clerks are getting very familiar. (One asked me out for dinner).

All those flowers need water. EVERY day and sometimes twice a day. Shouldn’t take more that 45 minutes to handle and don’t forget to roll up the two 100 foot hoses when you are done. And hurry up because we have to rip them all out in a couple of months and we need to enjoy every minute.

Who are all those people. Spraying for spiders, then a new team for wasps and then another group for grubs lets get that fertilizer spread quickly and then the window washer and lets not forget the army of gardeners’. Do they have to be here every day…who knew?

And get the umbrellas up and get them down the wind is increasing. And bring those 29 cushions in the house. It’s going to rain. Now get them out the deck looks terrible.

Sweep the garage and power hose everything in sight. Keep going…you won’t be deaf from the noise of that machine.

You aren’t using the pool often enough! Get the temperature up to 85 degrees F and I will consider it. I don’t like being wet. You have to swim. It’s good for you.

Can I watch TV now? Nope the sun is still out. Go for a walk. I don’t like walking. Do I have to log 3 or 4 miles every day? .

Stop sitting around and get outside. Its lovely.

And on it goes. My instruction buffers are overflowing.

I have to say that between the guilt of not doing everything available in the summer and the stress of taking a brief break to do nothing, summer sucks!

Lets hope for snow in November.

Bill Meder

Billmeder.blogspot.com

I've Got It!!

Who knew that it would take 30+ years before I could say, “ I’ve got it”.

This week I played and everything you would want to be right was fantastic. Every shot was long and straight. Every club in the bag was flawless, smooth and crisp. Chipping was worthy of filming if anyone had been around and putting? Forget the 3-putt and call me mister 1 putt!!

Now I did quit after 11 holes because it looked like it might rain so I can’ t say what a fantastic score I would have achieved. Didn’t matter.

Now I know how it feels. I know how to address the ball and initiate that beautiful full swing.  Don’t worry about giving me any short putts..there won’t be any…the first putt will be in the hole!

Wholly Molly I am excited.

Going forward the cry “Golf is my Life” will be on my lips every day.

Now I promise I  am not going to insult you by having some cliché OOPS moment next time out and crying boo- hoo it is all over. No way. This is real and permanent.

I’ve got it and it is here to stay! 

I feel so good I can barely stand it.

I will keep you posted.

Bill Meder

Rats, here we go again.

Yesterday it was 12 C, the wind was blowing and it was raining. I decided to go to the Golf Club to drop off my new clubs, load my locker with clothes and money for losing bets. Make everything pretty for the upcoming season.

When I arrived I was astounded to see that there were no parking spots available. First time I have ever seen this in 35 years.

I looked at the warm-up area and they were lined two deep waiting for a spot to hit balls. I went in to the pro shop and discovered that the course was fully booked!

Meanwhile there was a steady stream of people heading over to the 9-hole Dixie course and a mob practicing putting.

My first thought was “does all that cement in their heads make their neck muscles sore?”

I am obviously entering the final days of my life because I couldn’t have golfed yesterday if Jack Nicklaus had asked me to play a few holes with him.

I was miserable having lunch because it was so cold in the dining room.

And adding even more mystery to the scene…many players had just returned from playing golf all winter in Florida. I don’t get it. Do golfers lose their minds over the winter?

I am almost sorry the winter is over because I’m going to be on a constant guilt trip for the next 5 months for not playing golf every day the sun comes out.

Thank goodness it is pouring rain today so it isn’t even possible to drive out to the club and I can sit in front of the fire, semi-conscious for the entire day and night, binge watching Netflix.

At any rate, I’m all-good to go for this new season . I have new everything and more golf clothes and accessories than any sane person would have in their inventory. All I need is to find some desire to get going. 

It seems like such a hassle. Driving all the way out there. Getting covered in greasy sunblock, whacking balls to “warm up” and then stumbling around for 4 hours with the bugs etc and don’t get me talking about practicing.

Who wants to do that?  My sessions last 10-12 minutes and then I’m bored. Not a good reward for all the start-up and shut down required going out there.

As I'm running out the clock I wonder how this all ends. Last Night we went to the Annual meeting and dinner. 

I have been a member for 35 years. Out of our current roster of 1600 members, I now can say for sure that I know 35 of them!

Although "know" is a strong word. I can recall  first names for at least one member of most of the  couples and I  nod at many others while moving quickly through the crowd without stopping to have a conversation. Eventually, I am going to suggest we wear name tags.

I know this sounds quite negative and so you wonder why I don’t just quit and be done with it?

I can’t give it up …it’s my best sport and I can't find anything else to fill a whole day with mindless effort.

At any rate I am sure the desire will ignite any minute now and I will be all excited to play. At least for the first 5 or 6 holes.

I will follow up with you when the anti-depressants kick in.

Regards.

Bill Meder